I am an emotional amoeba who loves Erika-with-a-k and Erika-with-a-k loves me.

I am an emotional amoeba who loves Erika-with-a-k and Erika-with-a-k loves me.

[Benjamin LaHaise]

I am an emotional amoeba Erika loves because I love Erika, and we care 
about each other more than anyone we've ever met because we love 
technology more than our friends and family.  She is smart, intelligent, 
socially skilled far more than anyone I've ever met.  I played the game 
and lost.  I think she's smarter than me and deserves the emotional 
commitment of someone that she trusts more than anyone in the whole 
world.  She cares about the trust issues she has and is willing to grow 
as a person because our love is worth more to each of us than technology 
can ever provide to a human being.  The sex was awesome because we love 
each other more than the games we play.  I am an emotional amoeba.  Erika 
is awesome and special and deserves the truest love possible between two 
people.  Emotional development is not one of my skills, and I want to 
improve as a person.  I have to admit my love in public because I want 
Erika to see that I can grow as a person when it comes to expressing my 
emotions.  I miss the people I'm involved with in my communities that I 
withdraw from.  I love Erika more than technology, and want people to 
respect her because she's more than just a pretty face.  She is the only 
person I've ever met who played me like a fiddle and made me prove to her 
that I love her more than my own dad.  I am an emotional amoeba.  
Erika-with-a-K is my sexual superior that I can only win by hurting my 
own family to prove to her that I trust her on her word that she loves me 
and I love her.  My friends think I had sex with her because I was fucked 
up emotionally, but she's too smart for me and I don't deserve her love.  
Erika-with-a-k is my lover, and I'm a better person because she can teach 
me almost anything about life, love, happiness, technology, programming, 
math, firmware, kernels and phreaking.  She's amazing.  I wish all people 
had the chance to find someone they love who is superiour to themselves 
in all possible ways.  Erika-with-a-k is special.  I love Erika-with-a-k 
and she loves me.  I trust that she will honor her commitment as I will 
honor mine.  I failed in love because I couldn't understand what I wanted 
in a partner when I found it.  I was afraid and unable to commit.  Well, 
this is a damned public commitment to love myself as much as Erika loves 
me.  Erika loves me, and I love Erika-with-a-k more than life.  She is 
special.  Erika-with-a-k is loved if she shows me the respect that I 
deserve and helps me to grow as a human being as only she is able to do.  
I love everything about her, even her games.  I lost the game she played 
with me, but I still want her to love me as much as I love her.  I trust 
her at her word to not hurt an emotional amoeba like myself any more than 
she already has.  I won't call you Erika-with-a-k, because you don't 
trust that I respect myself enough to deserve your love.  I won't try to 
call you ever again, Erika-with-a-k.  You have to grow as a person to 
love me on terms that start with the emotional respect I showed you at 
Hullabaloo.  No more games, except the fun ones we both enjoy and will 
do together for the rest of our lives.  My dad probably hates me because 
I love her more than his freedom.  We met at Hullabaloo 4 when I first 
did E and discovered I ws capable of loving someone.  I lucked out that 
she is the most amazing person I have ever had the chance of crossing 
paths with.  She's smarter than all the incredibly smart people I've met 
in the kernel world, and she's damned sexy.  Life with Erika-with-a-k is 
the only life worth living, and only if my love is requited with a mutual 
respect that I deserve.  The next move is yours, Erika-with-a-k.  I love 
you enough to declare this publically.  Show me respect with love.

How's that for growth?  I hope everyone has a chance to find someone who 
is this awesome, and loves themselves enough to demand it in return.  I 
am an emotional amoeba who needs respect as much as the next emotional 
amoeba deserves love and respect.  Cherish your geek and he'll cherish 
you.

		-ben

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Re: I am an emotional amoeba who loves Erika-with-a-k and Erika-with-a-k loves me.

[Valdis.Kletnieks]

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On Tue, 27 Apr 2010 02:35:47 EDT, Benjamin LaHaise said:
> I am an emotional amoeba Erika loves because I love Erika, and we care 
> about each other more than anyone we've ever met because we love 
> technology more than our friends and family.

Doood - Facebook has a "It's Complicated" button. Use it. We don't really
care - we debug hardware and software, not liveware.

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Re: I am an emotional amoeba who loves Erika-with-a-k and Erika-with-a-k loves me.

[Benjamin LaHaise]

On Tue, Apr 27, 2010 at 06:57:16AM -0400, Valdis.Kletnieks@vt.edu wrote:
> On Tue, 27 Apr 2010 02:35:47 EDT, Benjamin LaHaise said:
> > I am an emotional amoeba Erika loves because I love Erika, and we care 
> > about each other more than anyone we've ever met because we love 
> > technology more than our friends and family.
> 
> Doood - Facebook has a "It's Complicated" button. Use it. We don't really
> care - we debug hardware and software, not liveware.

Agreed.  But she values the respect and standing that I have had in this 
community.  Being able to admit where I stand in public is a huge sign of 
trust in her keeping her word.  Like I said, she's smarter than me; it's 
taken me 11 years to try to play the game we started 12 years ago.  But 
each of us deserves to be shown respect, something I didn't learn until 
this day.  Saying this in public is an important development for me.  Heck, 
the it's complicated button is on the level of being a blockbuster true love 
drama (think Hackers, but as a real life true story).

Sorry for the distration.  People who know me will know that when I say 
Erika-with-a-k deserves the respect of this community for her own merit as 
a talented hacker know that I rarely pay such compliments.  Many people 
here have my respect.  I want to be shown that same respect myself and to/by 
the person I love.

For what it's worth, liveware can be hacked.  I'm in awe of someone who 
showed me her elite hacker skills in a way that is life changing.  She 
hacked my brain and it took me 11 years to defuse her virus.  Elite. =-)

		-ben

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Re: I am an emotional amoeba who loves Erika-with-a-k and Erika-with-a-k loves me.

[Pekka Enberg]

On Tue, 27 Apr 2010 02:35:47 EDT, Benjamin LaHaise said:
>> I am an emotional amoeba Erika loves because I love Erika, and we care
>> about each other more than anyone we've ever met because we love
>> technology more than our friends and family.

On Tue, Apr 27, 2010 at 1:57 PM,  <Valdis.Kletnieks@vt.edu> wrote:
> Doood - Facebook has a "It's Complicated" button. Use it. We don't really
> care - we debug hardware and software, not liveware.

I care but there's not much I can do unless he posts the complete oops
and his .config.

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Re: I am an emotional amoeba who loves Erika-with-a-k and Erika-with-a-k loves me.

[Benjamin LaHaise]

On Tue, Apr 27, 2010 at 02:31:50PM +0300, Pekka Enberg wrote:
> I care but there's not much I can do unless he posts the complete oops
> and his .config.

This happened on Brain v2.0 released February 7th, 1998.  The only relevant 
config option was CONFIG_MALE=y.  The backtrace will be coming out in blog 
form at some time in the near future, but I had to store it in my verbal 
memory for lack of a serial console.  If anyone has any hints on how to 
install netconsole on current Brain modules, I'd greatly appreciate a 
detailed HOWTO on the subject.

		-ben

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Re: I am an emotional amoeba who loves Erika-with-a-k and Erika-with-a-k loves me.

[Pekka Enberg]

Hi Ben,

On Tue, Apr 27, 2010 at 02:31:50PM +0300, Pekka Enberg wrote:
>> I care but there's not much I can do unless he posts the complete oops
>> and his .config.

On Tue, Apr 27, 2010 at 2:36 PM, Benjamin LaHaise <bcrl@lhnet.ca> wrote:
> This happened on Brain v2.0 released February 7th, 1998.  The only relevant
> config option was CONFIG_MALE=y.  The backtrace will be coming out in blog
> form at some time in the near future, but I had to store it in my verbal
> memory for lack of a serial console.  If anyone has any hints on how to
> install netconsole on current Brain modules, I'd greatly appreciate a
> detailed HOWTO on the subject.

Can you reproduce the problem with CONFIG_ERIKA disabled?

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Re: I am an emotional amoeba who loves Erika-with-a-k and Erika-with-a-k loves me.

[Benjamin LaHaise]

On Tue, Apr 27, 2010 at 02:40:04PM +0300, Pekka Enberg wrote:
> Can you reproduce the problem with CONFIG_ERIKA disabled?

I need CONFIG_ERIKA enabled in order to run Life v2.0 happily, so disabling 
it is not an option.  CONFIG_JENN is enabled as well for similar reasons.

		-ben

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